Leaving Los Angeles - Day 31

Our last and final day in Los Angeles was an emotional one. Although the tears in my eyes may have been a product of the thick smog that seemed to follow us everywhere, I was still visibly sad to leave. We had such a great time meeting new people, hanging out with Angelians, seeing the sights, and reconnecting with old friends and lost loves. My sincere thank you to those who took us around and gave us the insider's perspective on what to do and what to avoid like the plague (or maybe more appropriately, swine flu).

The 31st day of our vacation and ambitious adventure to find work in L.A. was not filled with sight-seeing, fancy dinners or mingling with the locals. Rather, we found ourselves furiously cleaning what was left to be cleaned, so as to leave the place in exactly the same order as we found it. In fact, we made it a goal to leave it in BETTER condition than when we arrived, and I think we may have succeeded (yeah, I scrubbed that kitchen counter so hard, it sparkles in appreciation when I pass by).

After my love affair with the kitchen counter, we packed our belongings, made peace with the cat (I'll miss you most of all Bitty), and we took one last deep breath of smoggy air for the road (Seriously though, this city was just deemed the most polluted in the world. I wonder if Chernobyl came in a close second?) Then we bolted out of there faster than a cat's meow. And we were immediately delayed by L.A. traffic. Much like how we arrived, the City of Angels felt we couldn't truly experience its glory without a grueling ride through aggravating, mind numbing, fist waving, traffic. Yes, L.A., you get the last laugh. You win. You win...

We learned a lot about Los Angeles in the short time we spent there. Gang members are not falling out of palm trees. You don't see famous people on every corner. Korean food IS good. Mexican food IS everywhere. UCLA and USC are very different. The Hollywood sign isn't so amazing. There IS a metro in L.A... kinda. Traffic accidents are considered natural disasters. Actors are people too. And there's something interesting to do, any time of day or night, somewhere in this giant city.



So I bid you Adieu, the City of a Thousand Names. Lalaland. Southland. Lotusville. El Pueblo. Hollywood. Ho-town. Tinsel-town. Ok, that's a handful of them. But I'm sure there's more. Like a recently estranged lover, we know you're no good for us, but we'll soon be crawling back on our knees, begging you to take us back.

You're a beautiful and hideous city, that's for sure.

With Love,
Jeff and Erin

Finding a job as an Extra in Hollywood - Day 30

By far, the last thing on my mind while living in LA for a month has been getting a job as an extra. Even though that was the first (and only) ambition I had when arriving here, it fell by the wayside once more important things cluttered up my 'to do' list. I discovered that this year, and specifically this season, is one of the worst for finding work as an extra. There are very few productions in LA right now, many of them have moved to other states where the government is giving bonuses and write-offs for filming there. The economy is in the toilet, which makes regular actors who are having trouble finding real acting jobs, audition for extra roles, which means more competition for the limited spaces left available. There's a plethora of scam agencies which charge monthly fees, and have no promise of finding you work. And the daily craigslist postings about background actor auditions are often not legitimate, and those that aren't trying to seduce you into the porn industry, rarely return your calls.

However, all throughout the month I talked with multiple actors, read a few books on extra work, and scanned the web looking for useful advice. At this point, I can safely say I understand the process pretty darn well.

Here are the actual methods of finding jobs as an extra in Los Angeles (and elsewhere), and some important info I learned while living here.

1. Join with Central Casting. Fork out the 25 dollars, and hope for the best. They are the only legitimate organization that has found any of my friends real gigs. Download the forms, go to the appropriate location at the appropriate time, and sign up. After being instructed about extra etiquette, how their process works, and once you've signed the paperwork, call them every morning and perhaps something will come up for your "look" cause really, that's what it's all about.

2. Peruse craigslist, and send your semi-professional headshot to anything that looks safe in the gigs section. Don't limit yourself to background acting though (the person hovering over my shoulder at the moment found a brief job as a hair model, which paid more than an extra gig, less hours, and she got a free haircut). Just do not give out any more personal info than you feel is neccessary. Let's say, if they ask for your height and weight, that sounds reasonable. If they ask for a picture of you naked, say no. Phone number, OK. Social Security number... not so much.

2b. Get a headshot (photo). If you can afford a professional, go for that. If not, and if time is an issue, grab a digital camera, and take a g-rated photo. Generally don't wear black or white, or bright red. But if that's what you look best in, then go for it. Make sure it's clear, and professional (browse some famous actors' headshots on google). The best photos have a bit of depth to the image. One trick is to use a telephoto lens, have a friend stand back a ways, and have them (optical) zoom in as far as the camera will go. Light the face well. Focus on the eyes, and you'll have a nice depth of field to the image.

3. Make friends with people involved in the industry. This is your best bet at an extra role. Someone knows someone, who knows a casting director.

4. If you get a job with a reputable agency or production, don't take less than 50 for a day (unless you are simply doing it for the experience, then enjoy the free food and don't complain). SAG actors get around a 100 for an 8 hour day for an extra gig. Non-union usually get anywhere from 50 to 80.

Lesson: Don't make background acting work your primary source of income.

5. GENERAL ETIQUETTE: If you get a role, be professional. No divas or divos. You are most likely replaceable in an instant. You are not important. No one loves you. Remember that. Don't assume this is your big break. And don't harass the principals (yeah, you like that, I used the word principal, cause I just learned what it meant the other day, and I'm trying to sound professional). Do what you are told, and don't do what you aren't told. It's easy. If you don't understand instructions, then ASK. And if you are hired or aced an audition... don't color, cut, or change your hair or appearance after you've submitted a headshot. Do look like the picture. I heard of an actor who sent her headshot, got the part, got a haircut, went to the shoot, and was told to leave immediately.

And most importantly, be amiable, even if rejected.

--
There, that's pretty much everything I know. Good luck, and good night.

Chicken N' Waffles - Day 28

Although we wanted to make a stop at the (in)famous Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in Long Beach (where they shot the restaurant scenes in Pulp Fiction), we thought it would be more practical to check out one of the closer branches, ie: Central LA.

I personally have never enjoyed chicken AND waffles simultaneously, (despite chicken and waffles both being delicious and satisfying), but finally the opportunity presented itself, and I was able to indulge. This is something I probably won't be doing again for a long while though.

You'll notice in the picture, in the center of the table, between two giant waffles, sits some kind of mound 'o' gravy, drenching a very moist meat product. That's a chicken under there. Wait, that's not entirely true. That giant mound is actually one FOURTH of a chicken. Yes, we got the small portion (I wonder aloud what kind of giant turkey sized chickens do they have back there?!) I glanced 'round at other dining customers, and realized why they offer enormo-chickens. The people here were pretty big. And we are pretty small. Comparatively.

Well, we continued to devour as much as we could of our gourmet meal, which admittedly tasted way better than it looked (glad the lighting was dim). But saying I was simply full after finishing what I could of our meal, would be an understatement. However, despite the hideous sight of our food, and the damage done to your body from eating it, I would have to recommend it, at least once in your life. It was cheap, tasty, and there was decent parking, AND it's CHICKEN AND WAFFLES! C'mon!



We're still asking forgiveness from our arteries.

Yay Authors! - Day 26

Today was full of surprises. We went to UCLA's annual book festival to hear a few people speak about their book-writing careers. I did not expect Bob Barker to be so funny, nor Alyssa Milano to be so boring. Biggest surprise of the festival: Ray Bradbury is a passionate, passionate man. He's really a lover of loving love (not just in a romantic way, but in an everything way). His speech was really inspiring.



Gore Vidal was also another moving speaker. I did not realize what a cool dude he is. We also saw Yeardley Smith, Tom Bergeron, a brief glimpse of Brooke Shields, and we totally got Kathy Kinney's autograph. Luckily, the last event of the day (Ray Bradbury) was all about literature, and not celebrity... or I would have been depressed.

We finished off the night with a little-known author named Shakespeare. Our friend took us to see a production of Macbeth at a tiny venue named "The Banshee." Overall, the show was enjoyable because of a few key performances and fight scenes.

You wouldn't expect a large portion of the ensemble to outshine the performances of Macbeth and Lady McB, but in fact that happened in a very huge way. The actor playing Macbeth was just sort of dull, and the actress' character choice for Lady Macbeth was obvious and unintelligent. The performance of the Porter was so poor that my non-Shakespearenut boyfriend didn't realize he was supposed to be the clown of the play. Conversely, the witches were enthralling, and Lady Macduff's performance was very touching (the fact that the Macduff child was played by a ten-year-old rather than a sixteen-year-old, and was abruptly killed on-stage may have had something to do with it). Anywho, I liked that choice because it changed the dynamic of the whole scene.

And of course, Macbeth's head being impaled at the end of the play was way more awesome than I expected.

The Getty Villa - Day 25

After having already been to far too many museums, the Getty Villa was neither the worst nor the best. But I would say it's definitely worth seeing if you have the time and are staying in LA, and have already seen the other Getty and the Huntington. Parking is 10 dollars, just like the Getty Center, but there is no tram to take you up the hill. The entire museum is in one building, but it's large, and has a lot to offer. It's mostly filled with "antiquities" (e.g. incredibly old statues, jewelry, texts, paintings, and pottery of the Greek and Roman persuasion). It's worth a look.

Because I've run out of interesting things to say in cleverly descriptive ways, here's a bunch of pictures...


And slightly north on the PCH, one can find a Duke's restaurant. And we did. And we ate there. And the view was nice. Although I have to complain about the forced valet parking. I don't understand why you HAVE to have a valet park your car in the middle of the day when the lot is mostly empty and charge you three dollars to do it? I saved my three dollars and parked on the side of the highway.

The Viper Room

Bottles of wine for 300 dollars!?! That seems reasonable. Maybe it's an attempt to get the general public sober. Well, good on the Viper Room for trying.
The Viper Room is a Sunset Blvd. bar with the occasional music gig, one of which we were able to catch late on a Wednesday night. Entrance was free (my favorite!) if you uttered the secret code at the door (what's with codes in this city?).
The place was rocked out by the LA band, the City Museum (not to be confused with the other city museum).


For being a band that's "not really a band, but rather a group of dudes who have a band on the side," they were pretty good. Not the greatest pop-rock band of all time, but they were fun. The drummer was the most talented of the bunch, and one of the guitarists stole the show with pure energy.







Just down the street on Sunset we found cafe Hustler. I bought a muffin. And further down the road we stopped in for some fresh sashimi (well, sashimi is fresh by definition) at Tenmasa. Tenmasa's reputation online is riddled with negative reviews about the strange waiters, the "fishy" food, and the stale atmosphere. I certainly didn't think it was the worst sushi restaurant, and I actually found the waiters (a pair of twin brothers with eccentric personalities) to be quite entertaining. The waiter we spoke to had an anxious energy and talked with us about the Japanese school system fondly.






One reviewer called Tenmasa "unpretentious" which is one quality I can agree with and admire. So if you're looking for a low-key, sorta expensive, entertaining sushi place, with not the worst food in the world, you can find that here at Tenmasa.

I like mocha not moca - Day 24

My photographer/artist boyfriend was so incensed by the ridiculousness of the multiple MOCA museums that he is physically incapable of blogging about it. I will have to humor him.

MOCA stands for Museum of Contemporary Art and poop (I added the poop part). The first branch of the MOCA that we went to was located in Beverly Hills. The outside of the museum was majestic, but the inside was basically one huge disappointment. Apparently, this branch of the museum was dedicated to architecture and design (a.k.a lots of living room and kitchen showrooms where different furniture companies try to sell you their stuff).

There was also a little brown building amidst the regal and humongoid architecture that was supposed to have the "real" art in it. We came to find out that it held one exhibit: some clay pots that were all cut in half and arranged in a silly pattern across the floor according to "boolean logic." Did those artists just make that up, or is that for real? And the atrocity of it all is that this specific exhibit is going to be on display for almost five months! No other artists will have the opportunity to put their good contemporary art on display so that some bozos can show off their mutilated pottery. awesome.

The downtown branch was slightly better, but not by much. It didn't help that it took us an hour to get there because driving in downtown L.A. is like driving in New York City: you just shouldn't do it. A few Jackson Pollock works were on display, so that was fun. Even though his work borders on being ridiculous, he really was a pioneer of his time, his work has a lot of detail and intricacies, and it's all aesthetically pleasing, so yay for him. However, almost all of the rest of the art was literally and/or figuratively pretentious junk (with a few interesting Dan Graham pieces interspersed throughout).

We finished off the day by walking around downtown a bit and taking some awesome pictures. Bad contemporary art is the bane of my existence.

The Getty Center - Day 23

We FINALLY made it to one of the two Getty Museums in Los Angeles. On Day 23 we took a short trip down the 405 and found our favorite museum so far (well, it's a close race between the Huntington and Getty). The Getty Center (not to be confused with the Getty Villa) is split into four different wings, North, South, East, and you get the picture.

The museum itself is free, but you can't avoid the 10 dollar parking, no matter how hard you try, and trust me, we tried. There is no place to park near the museum, and there's no reasonable way to walk to it without tearing up and saying to yourself "we should have just parked in the parking lot and paid the ten dollars!" So you'll find yourself parking in the lot, and taking the trolley up the hill to the center, and hopefully you'll have split the bill among you and your stingy friends.


The various wings of the museum host a variety of art mediums, from paintings to sculpture to illuminated manuscripts (which weren't as exciting as the Huntington Library collection). The painting collections ranged almost entirely between the 1600's to the 1800's, my favorite being the Italian paintings of the Grand Canal and, of course, anything Rembrandt. The exhibit even features a single painting by Van Gogh (although I'm less interested in Van Gogh's work than I am with that whole romantic, ear-giving gesture).

Each room of the museum seemed to have different photography rules, so I found myself asking constantly "is this room ok for pictures?" which evolved into "pictures ok?" and eventually a click, click gesture with my finger above my camera and a slight shrug to indicate a question was being asked. I felt like I was back in Japan for a moment there, trying to work through a language barrier.

There isn't much more to say about this Getty that can't be shown in pictures. So here's a few thousand words worth of images of the Getty Center.

Eating Thai Food with The Beatles - Day 22

After a hard day's work of showing off my hair, it was nice to have a chill-out day with The Beatles. We went over to a friend's house for a jam session with some of our favorite songs.

After the jamming increased our appetite, we went over to Thai Town to get good, cheap Thai food. Anything that has the words "good" and "cheap" in the description never fails to catch our attention. The owners were friendly, and we got to watch Spongebob Squarepants on the t.v., so we'll probably go there again.




After Thai, the boys played video games, and I was so bored to tears that I fell asleep. Some time in between eating and video games, they stumbled upon a very funny sign in the elevator. Apparently, there is LITTLE danger of dying in aforementioned elevator. Phew! that's a relief!

Soon after I woke up, the boys decided they were too hungry to continue playing, so we went to Westwood for Subway. Apparently, Subway is now only doing the 5 dollar foot-long deal for the crappy subs... I was super traumatized. I don't think I'll ever be the same again.

The little town surrounding UCLA (I guess it's called Westwood?) was nice to look at, sort of Berkeley-esque, and luckily there weren't too many drunk college kids.

Oh! And dessert was awesome. We went to some trendy cookie/ice cream shop that sells you ice cream sandwiches made with your choice of ice cream plopped in between two freshly baked cookies....yummmmmmm. I think maybe I had an ever-so-slight stroke while eating it.

The ride home was fun because we got into a big debate about whether the movie Face Off was ridiculous or amazing. I still have to go with ridiculous.

The Fake Gallery - Day 19

Saturday night was pretty Godless. We were invited to a comedy show at the Fake Gallery, on Melrose. The show featured the Godless Heathens of Comedy, with eight funny guys talking about Godless stuff in Godless ways. I think the crowd entered the show equally as Godless as they exited, if that means anything.

Two interesting things about this show. One, the comedy was entirely about religion, fanatics, gay marriage, and other unmentionables, of which I will mention now. The comics ripped apart zealot-ism and fundamentalism pulling from their own experiences from having been raised under some kind of dogma. The performers were also being recorded for some kind of amateur movie about the team of heathens, and we were able to watch an intro to the film on very small TVs.

Each comic had his own strengths (and weaknesses) through the night and most of them left me with a smile and a nod of approval. One comic repeated jokes from another comic's set (which he didn't realize he was doing on account of his "high" level of intelligence). And that may have been the lowest point of the show. But for me, a more-or-less agnostic non-believer, I appreciated most of the performers' wit and cynicism.

Even though the show was purported to be an extremely offensive and in-your-face act, seven of the eight comics were pretty tame and were no more offensive than your average George Carlin, or Bill Hicks, or David Cross (all of whom I adore)... which brings me to the final comic of the night, that good ol' eighth comic, that one who truly seemed to cross the line between acceptable, and offensive. And I applaud him for it (although I may not understand half of his jokes)... He was actually able to make an audience member, one who came to the show aware of its godlessness and anti-religiousity, and who must have had thick enough skin to last the first seven comics, get up, take his girlfriend by the hand, and leave the show in anger and offense.

After the show we went to In'n'Out and discussed British comedy with our new British friend. I took no pictures the entire night.

Ps. the art on the walls of the Fake Gallery was really cool indeed. I enjoyed this as much, or more, than the comedy itself.

Bitty the cat.

Occasionally we talk about Bitty, the gigantic cat that hobbles around the apartment, smothering us with its love and affection, begging us for attention, and stealing my loose change. And since it's been a while since I've written about Bitty, the Kitty, I thought I'd talk a little about the recent oddness that we've come to love, but certainly not comprehend.

Bitty likes to sleep in the bathtub. I've never seen a cat do this... Ever. Regular cats don't seem to like areas where water can be immediately sprayed in their general direction. Have you ever seen a cat sleep next to a garden hose? fire hydrant? jacuzzi? Nope. It's uncomfortable for them. It's like a rat sleeping next to a box of rat-poison. Like superman sleeping against a mountain of kryptonite. Or like me sleeping next to a giant meat grinder, or an open bottle of liquid arsenic, or a thirsty vampire. I just wouldn't do that because of the dangers involved.

Bitty wakes us up at precisely 2:30 am, every morning to either leave, or enter the apartment. We have a few theories about that. Bitty may be involved in some bad things that we just don't want to know about.

Bitty the kitty, is also quite fat. He or she is a heavy-weight, and I think we know why. I am pretty sure that the residents of this entire apartment complex think that Bitty is their cat, and henceforth feeds Bitty regularly. This would also explain some of its late night liaisons.

And lastly, Bitty still remains genderless to us. Whatever parts may or may not exist under the belly of Bitty perhaps will be lost forever, hidden behind an impenetrable wall of fur and love.

More pictures of Bitty to come soon.

The first job secured!

After a brisk vacation to see some friends and family, and to escape the suffocation of hate and smog, we returned to L.A. and my 'partner in crime' quickly found an open casting call she felt she had a shot at.

The ad read something like:

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Come one, come many! Step right up, and get your hair sliced, diced, chopped, cropped, for free! That's right... for FREE!!! 'For FREE' you say! Nay! We'll even PAY you! Get your hair shaped and coloured by our fabulous stylists, strut your stuff down the catwalk, and get PAID! You heard me! PAID!

Come to our headquarters this Saturday and see if you've got what it takes to sit in a chair for SIX hours while we scrub, shampoo, condition, rinse, repeat, and fondle your hair, and get PAID!"*

*not a real ad. rather a colorfully abridged dramatization.

Anywho. She replied, and found out further details, and the next day we drove down... within minutes she was selected to be one of the runway models (having never previously professionally modeled before). Perhaps it was her whimsically charming attitude and relaxed nature that got her the spot (not that her beauty enough couldn't win her the job). After we left the audition, Erin told me about how some of the other auditioners who got cut were "professional" models who had agents and vouchers (or whatever that means) and most of all, they had attitudes.

I thought the "primadonna model attitude" was just something seen in the movies, but I stand corrected. We feel a little guilty that this was just something we wanted to try mostly for the experience and the free haircut (although the money doesn't hurt), while these professional models were looked over.

Well, my new model of a girlfriend spent the bulk of today getting her hair cut and colored by these professionals. When she walked out the doors, after spending hours under the knife (ok, scissors), I barely recognized her. She's now blonde. Wait, not just blonde. More like, Swedish. Yeah, the color Swedish. My Irish rose is now a Swede!



(And, well, I could get used to it).

Disneyland for Free, Take Two - Day 16

Believe it or not, if you are a Southern California resident and you go to Disneyland on your birthday for free, you also get to go to California Adventure for free.. on a different day of course. The reason for this is extremely complicated, and I have no desire to delve into it.

One of our main philosophies in life is "if it's free, do it" so we did it. Since we didn't have high expectations of California Adventure, we weren't disappointed. However, I was REALLY looking forward to the man-made lake and fake boardwalk and lo and behold, the faux lake was entirely dried up, and three of the boardwalkish rides were closed for construction. The Disney corporation is extremely lucky that I didn't have to pay for my ticket. If I had been cheated out of a huge chunk of change to go to a half-finished theme park with no lake, I would have raised absolute hell and demanded my money back.... maybe I should have demanded my money back anyways.

Oh, but there were a few cool things about the park. I finally got to ride on the tower of terror (alone, since my better half has an extreme fear of heights) I laughed so much in enjoyment of the free-falling sensation that tears started streaming down my face. We saw the Muppets in 3-D... totally awesome. We went on that crazy water ride.




Yes, they are serious when they say "you will get wet" and we had to take a special trip back to the car for a fresh change of clothes. The ride was pretty fun though. It was also really amusing that we waited in line for thirty minutes to go on the "craziest roller coaster in California" and the ride can be summed up as follows: straight, sharp u-turn to the right, straight, sharp u-turn to the left, dooooowwwwn, uuuuuuuuppp, awkward and abrupt stop, end.